We have all known someone who came across as an unpleasant person. Such will speak in an insulting manner and just be plain nasty. The normal reaction is to act with anger and strike back, but some times if we can imagine what that person might has gone through to become that way and from that we can overlook their lack of civility.
When I first finished college I took an internship in a little church. Where there was an older woman on the board of that church who seemed to not be able to control some of her comments. They were too often on the edge of incendiary and directed at me. The Chairman of the board was bothered by this to the point that he and the Pastor told me that they were going to speak with the woman. I was able to persuade them to let it be, as this woman was dealing with a dying husband and a few years back had lost her son. I think that I must have made her think of that loss and it was out of that pain which she spoke. If we look deep enough, we can usually find buried anguish behind those who quickly insult.
That all was close to thirty years ago and now as I am rapidly approaching retirement from the Teamsters I can reflect back. Working the loading docks of one of the largest trucking companies has brought me into contact with some of the rudest, most unsavory of men. Most people cannot even imagine what the working environment has been like. This has actually been a blessing for me, as it has given me a rather thick skin. It has allowed me to ignore insults and see pass to that person's pain. Some times their pain is minor and they just crave attention, and some times they have Grand Canyon size sorrow. It is real difficult to tell which it might be, but I think back to that one woman and think how badly I would have felt had I slashed back at her only to later find out about her pain. It is not always an easy task to turn a deaf-ear to insults, but when we respond to them, we often join in that person's pain.
When I first finished college I took an internship in a little church. Where there was an older woman on the board of that church who seemed to not be able to control some of her comments. They were too often on the edge of incendiary and directed at me. The Chairman of the board was bothered by this to the point that he and the Pastor told me that they were going to speak with the woman. I was able to persuade them to let it be, as this woman was dealing with a dying husband and a few years back had lost her son. I think that I must have made her think of that loss and it was out of that pain which she spoke. If we look deep enough, we can usually find buried anguish behind those who quickly insult.
That all was close to thirty years ago and now as I am rapidly approaching retirement from the Teamsters I can reflect back. Working the loading docks of one of the largest trucking companies has brought me into contact with some of the rudest, most unsavory of men. Most people cannot even imagine what the working environment has been like. This has actually been a blessing for me, as it has given me a rather thick skin. It has allowed me to ignore insults and see pass to that person's pain. Some times their pain is minor and they just crave attention, and some times they have Grand Canyon size sorrow. It is real difficult to tell which it might be, but I think back to that one woman and think how badly I would have felt had I slashed back at her only to later find out about her pain. It is not always an easy task to turn a deaf-ear to insults, but when we respond to them, we often join in that person's pain.